Monday, November 07, 2005

The Question... (Next to 'Who am I?', 'Why Am I Here?' and some such stuff)

How do people end up together?

That's a universal question, methinks. No guaranteed answer and certainly no proven formula by which people can get their partners in life and stay with them.
But, never say never. Why don't we try to sift through the facts and see if we can come up with answers. Sherlock Holmes may have been useful here but I just remembered that he died a bachelor so no go there. Same with Agatha Christie who was divorced by her husband for a much younger woman.

Hmm, we may have found one clue here already. An investigative and much too-inquiring mind is not successful in a relationship? I won't state that as fact, but, if you've ever experienced being grilled by your partner as to where you've been, what you've been doing and exactly how you've been doing it when you two were not together? Well, I must say there's a grain, or rather, a rock of truth to this.

But, we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's get back to the 'hooking up' part, or the 'attraction thing'. We really don't want to be clinical here (we're talking about love, remember?) so let's skip the biology lessons with the dreary stuff of how women, during their fertile period, gives off signals in the form of scent, bodily heat, etc., that men responds to. Or, how taller men statistically have better chances of being paired off than vertically challenged ones (I am just quoting this from a study so no offense meant, you guys). Anyhow, how do we respond romantically to someone? How do we say someone is attractive, cute, or as the gay lingo for charming man goes, papable?

People say that we live in a superficial world where only looks and stature matter. That only the blessed few who have one or, preferably, all of the following; face, body and money; get to pick and choose from the mating pool. And, of course, this is true.

Opps, sorry. What I meant was, while there's some truth to the above premise, that is not always the case. There are beautiful people, rich people, average people, and, well, people. But, almost all of them, at one time or the other, get to experience romantic love. It may have been a simple crush, a momentary attraction, a fling, or a full-blown love affair. It may also have been unrequited, reciprocated, or hidden. Either way, all of us get to experience Cupid's arrow. We have all felt the 'zing', that wonderful experience of being enraptured by someone so totally we almost forget ourselves or we feel so self-conscious; we somehow end up making ourselves look giddily foolish.

Point is, getting together and staying with someone is no easy feat. The rich and the beautiful are certainly no exception to this, not if celebrity reports of old bachelors, single women, separation and divorces are anything to go by. They may even have a harder time on this being on the spotlight (of course you've heard of the travails of my long-suffering friends Jennifer A. and Paris H).

So we have established that getting together with someone successfully is not based on a) looks; b) money; c) stature. Although, it certainly helps if you have them, they're not a guarantee that you’ll indeed be lucky in the hearts department.

What could it be, then? If we're to be religious about it, we could just say that God has different plans for us all and that maybe, others are meant to be happy in partnerships while others are not. But, that's cold comfort especially when you're in front of a loving couple, holding hands and all but shouting to the world their devotion to one other. Or when you've heard that this and that have married and are very much happy together and all of your family members and some nosy acquaintance can't keep asking you why you have not taken the same blissful path...?

Scrap that then. What about astrology which includes, but is not limited to, palm readings, tarot cards, crystal glass divination, horoscope, and even feng shui readings on soul mates and compatible partners? With the underlying belief that in this entire universe, two people are destined to be with each other and love one another forever and ever and ever?

A bit hard to swallow that one since there are billions of people in this world and chances that two individuals will come face to face and fall desperately in love within moments of laying eyes upon each other is about zero to nil (is it patently obvious I'm no great believer of love at first sight?). And, that no matter how much love-attracting amulets and bangles you put on your body and incantations you recite, no partner, perfect or not, will come knocking on your door that easily.

Or why not be bitchy, once and for all, and say that the world we now live in has fostered the belief that only the rich, beautiful and the successful have the edge in the romance department and have robbed us mere hopefuls of our chance? That no one appreciates the meaning of true love anymore? And that by year 2010, with the growing number of homosexuals, single heterosexuals would all be shouting to high heavens to please have mercy on them all?

Really people, don't be picky please, guys shouldn't have cars and gals shouldn't have the boobs (excuse me) and the ass (excuse me, again) for them to be loveable.

Well, I hate to do a Pontius Pilate thing and wash my hands of the matter but it can't be helped. It would take someone far greater than me to be able to decipher that great mystery called romance. But, know what? Embarking on it is but half the fun.

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