Wednesday, July 27, 2005

People

I read this somewhere: the desperate need to compete stems from a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy.

Healthy competition is good if all it does is to motivate you to do your best and keep you on your toes. But if it goes beyond that, when you let it dictate to you and make you look, well, desperate, it's saying much about your self-esteem. Or rather the lack of it.

At a certain age, self-knowledge should be a given. You should know what you can and cannot do. What you're good at and where you're not so good at. Let's face it, there will always be something that others can do better than you. That's the way of life. Each is born with different talents and skills. We take what we have and we make the best of it. We can only build on what we have and we can only work on something up to a certain point. It's futile to want something that is never yours to begin with.

Sometimes one is 'lucky' enough to meet this kind of people. People who are not happy unless they have what they deem to be the approval, the admiration, and worse, the envy of others. They don't feel complete when they don't feel they are not the 'best,' whatever that is in their limited concept. They want to acquire friends. And it's not quality they're after, it's the number and the 'status' it confers. Empty flatteries, liberal sprinkling of gossips, depracating chats that meant to exclude others and make it seem that this needy person is at the center of a very popular clique of friends. Pathetic, attention-getting, and really immature.

I may not have a thousand friends, but, each of them counts in very special ways. Most of all, I'm thankful of what He has given me, a loving husband, a lovely daughter, family, friends, work, and health. I have never felt the need to prove myself to others. For those who matter to me have always believed in me. I know what I can do. I know my skills and the quality of work I am capable of. I am not defined by other's perception of me thus I am not limited by it. If they like me, fine, if they don't, well, one cannot please everybody.

It's pointless to engage in constant competition with others for it will only bring endless frustration and unhappiness. To measure oneself through other's standards is hardly sensible.

It's a cliche that life is not about winning or losing, its about loving and being happy. There's a whole lot of truth to it, though, and one which I most definitely agree.

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